As parents, we often focus on our child’s behaviors—meltdowns, impulsivity, trouble focusing, emotional outbursts, or challenges with learning. But behavior is really just a window into what’s happening inside the brain. When you understand why a behavior is showing up, the “what to do about it” becomes so much clearer.

At Brain Connex Therapy, we always tell parents:
Your child isn’t giving you a hard time—their brain is having a hard time.

The good news? A struggling brain can grow, reorganize, and strengthen with the right kinds of support. Here are some simple ways to understand what’s going on inside your child’s brain—and what you can do to help them feel more calm, confident, and connected.

1. Behavior Starts in the Brainstem: The Foundation of Regulation

The brainstem is responsible for survival, safety, movement, posture, and automatic responses. If this area is underdeveloped—or still using primitive, early-life reflexes—kids can appear:

• Overreactive to sounds, touch, or movement

• Constantly “on the go”

• Clumsy or poorly coordinated

• Easily overwhelmed or dysregulated

It’s not intentional—it’s a sign the lower brain is still stuck in “survival mode.”

How to support this:

• Slow rocking, swinging, crawling, and deep pressure can help calm the brainstem.

• Movement before tasks (not as a reward) supports regulation and attention. Try the cross-crawl.

• Reflex integration programs can help remove those underlying roadblocks so higher brain areas can take over, and you can see permanent change in behavior.

2. The Right Hemisphere Helps Kids Feel Safe, Seen, and Connected

The right side of the brain develops first and is heavily responsible for emotional awareness, body language, empathy, and the ability to read people’s cues. When the right hemisphere is underdeveloped, kids may:

• Struggle with big emotions

• Miss social cues

• Have difficulty with transitions

• Show more rigidity, perfectionism, or emotional shutdown

This isn’t misbehavior—it’s a brain that needs more support interpreting the world.

How to support this:

• Increase face-to-face connection (mirroring facial expressions, playful interaction)

• Use rhythm—clapping, music, pacing with steps—to strengthen right-brain networks

• Limit fast-paced screens, which overstimulate the left brain

• Provide more one-to-one connection; Parents put your phone down and connect with your child.

3. The Left Hemisphere Takes Over Too Early When the Lower Brain Is Stuck

A child who appears “logical but inflexible,” overly verbal but emotionally reactive, or anxious about getting things “just right” may be using left-brain skills to compensate for immaturity in the lower or right-brain areas.

This is when you see behaviors like:

• Overthinking

• Worrying

• Meltdowns during changes

• Difficulty shifting attention

• Perfectionism that leads to shutdown

When the brain isn’t balanced, the child doesn’t feel grounded or safe.

How to support this:

• Sensory-motor activities first, cognitive tasks second

• Encourage play over performance

• Build right-brain strength through movement, rhythm, and emotional co-regulation; as well as programs like our INTEGRATE program.

4. Sensory Processing Tells You What the Brain Needs

Your child’s sensory system is the gateway to the brain. If you see sensory-seeking or sensory-avoiding behaviors, it’s usually a sign of stress in the nervous system.

Clues to watch for:

• Covering ears

• Avoiding messy play

• Craving movement

• Constantly touching things

• Difficulty sitting still

• Getting upset in loud or busy environments

How to support this:

• Instead of stopping the behavior, ask: What is their nervous system trying to communicate?

• Offer sensory tools proactively: deep pressure, movement breaks, chewing tools, weighted lap pads, fidgets

• Build a “sensory lifestyle,” not just a sensory bin

5. Rhythm Is the Brain’s Most Powerful Regulator

Research shows that rhythmic movement and timing-based activities (like drumming, Interactive Metronome, marching, or bilateral movement) organize brain networks more effectively than static exercises.

Rhythm builds:

• Attention

• Emotional regulation

• Language

• Social timing

• Motor coordination

• Executive function

This is why babies calm when rocked—and why older kids regulate with movement too.

6. Connection Comes Before Correction

A child’s nervous system looks to your nervous system for cues. When your child is dysregulated, the most powerful thing you can offer is a regulated adult presence.

Try this when your child is struggling:

• Lower your voice

• Move closer instead of calling from across the room

• Match their breathing until you sense they’re calmer

• Validate their feelings without trying to fix them immediately

This tells their brain: You’re safe with me. We can do this together.

7. Healing the Brain Is More About “Bottom-Up” Work Than “Top-Down”

Instead of jumping to worksheets, lectures, or consequences, support the brain from the bottom up:

Bottom-Up Tools:
Movement
Posture
Reflex integration
Sensory modulation
Rhythm
Connection
Breathing
Eye tracking
Play

These forms of input organize the brain far more effectively than talking-based strategies alone.

Once the lower brain feels safe, the higher brain can handle:

• Problem-solving

• Attention

• Impulse control

• Social awareness

• Emotional regulation

This is the heart of developmental—and neurological—growth.

The Big Picture: Your Child Can Change

When parents understand how the brain works, behavior becomes easier to decode.
You start to see patterns, not problems.
Needs, not misbehavior.
Opportunities, not obstacles.

And the best part?
The brain is highly changeable. With the right support, kids can feel calmer, more coordinated, more confident, and more deeply connected to the people they love.

If you’re ready to learn more about how reflex integration, sensory-based movement, or brain training can help your child, I’d love to support you on your journey.